Pregnancy & Parenting; Are You Feeling the Pinch?
By Michelle Noble, LMT, BF, CFMW
Okay, I’m a geek and I admit it. I own it. Let me count the ways…
One of the many types of geek I am is a word geek. So when The Heybrook invited me to write a guest blog on parenting, pregnancy and stress, the first thing I did was look up the origin and meaning of the word “Stress”. Here’s what I found:
From the latin “strictus” meaning tightened or compressed. Also from the French “estrecier” meaning to press or pinch. Well those are fun energies! And unfortunately for many pregnant people and parents they are all too familiar.
Can you relate:
You are always trying to compress everything you have to do into not enough hours?
You fall into bed at night, but instead of sleeping, your thoughts and worries start to press in on you?
You long for some breathing space (literally if you’re in your third trimester!), but everyone else’s needs plus the pressure to get things right is like a tight corset of demands?
Yeah, you are feeling the pinch.
Stress.
On top of that, the news about how our stress impacts our babies during pregnancy and our children later on is everywhere, so now you may be stressing about your stress. Ouch!
When I was in school to become a bodyworker and later an energy transformation coach, I learned that a certain amount of stress is actually healthy. A muscle that is stressed enough to be challenged but not strained becomes stronger. When we are faced with a new situation and have to get creative, that’s how we grow.
What has fascinated me, as my experience has expanded and I’ve worked with hundreds of people, is that how pinched or compressed or anxious or depressed or sick someone feels in the face of their stress has less to do with the type of stress they are facing and more to do with the point of view they have about the situation.
As a result, I’ve become less focused on addressing particular symptoms in my clients and more and more interested in finding tools that will empower my clients to change their points of view.
And to be sure, as the mom of two neurodivergent kids, navigating all the pitfalls of family and relationship while developing my own outside-the-box healing business, I spend most of my waking hours road-testing these same tools so I can create a life beyond continuous stress-pressure for me and my family.
But just like stressing out over having stress without a way to change it isn’t useful, beating yourself up for your point of view or trying to find the “right” one, is just plain mean. You deserve some kindness, not more pinch!
So here is a quickie from The Calmer Mom Toolbox:
If you are an ant and all your stressors are other ants in your anthill, you are in a swarm and each stress is as big as you are. You feel smothered.
However, if all your stressors are ants in an anthill, but you are an elephant (or a beautiful Dragon with emerald wings…take your pick!), then the stressors are small, you are big, and from this point of view you may actually see where you have choices that you could not see from inside the hill. Or perhaps the thing that seemed so big it would overwhelm you is now insignificant and you can put your attention on taking loving care of you!
This may seem so simple you think I’m ridiculous. But simple is the best because if it’s complicated you’ll never use it. And it can take a bit of practice to let go of trying to solve the problem related to the stress and instead just change your point of view. So give it a try next time your stress level goes up or you feel stuck.
Take a deep breath. Remember to exhale. Relax your eyebrows (that’s another tool!) and get big. Even if you only stay big for a few seconds, you’ve stepped out of the pinch and started building the muscle of changing your point of view. Now get big again and give yourself a hug!
Learn more about Michelle Noble and her work at Calmer Mom Solutions
